Neuro-DIVERSE Relationships: A SOMETIMES TWO-WAY STREET in need of accurate maps

• I think there are relationships in which one person may be more "Neuro-Typical" than the other.
  
• I also think there are A LOT of RELATIONSHIPS in which BOTH partners have significant aspects of NEURO-DIVERSITY.
• Further, the MORE BLURRED that is --- without BIOMARKERS ---
  • the MORE DIFFICULT it is to figure out the DYNAMICS and the NEEDS of BOTH people
  • Especially, if you BOTH are FEELING and SAYING --- "THAT'S NOT REASONABLE."
    • You can BOTH spend a lot of time trying to prove to the other person that they aren't REASONABLE---
    • While RELATIONSHIP ACCOMMODATIONS and WORK AROUNDS that could make BOTH of your lives better are MISSED.

 

• Now anybody can UNILATERALLY TERMINATE a Relationship and there are certainly REASONS for doing that ---
  • BUT I think for many Neuro-Diverse Couples -- the relationship could benefit with more KNOWLEDGE and INSIGHT.
  • Going most of your life without that KNOWLEDGE or INSIGHT is HARD and it likely will be HARD on your RELATIONSHIPS.
  • NOT having an ACCURATE MAP and the SOCIETY NOT having an ACCURATE MAP of your experience is STRESS PRODUCING.
    • This is RELATIVE.
    • There is NO PERFECT MAP out there, but the MORE INACCURATE THE MAP, the MORE STRESS --- Val's Law of SOCIAL MAPS & STRESS.

• Further, most Neuro-Diverse People ALREADY HAVE A RAMPED UP STRESS RESPONSE
  • It's NOT all bad --
  • BUT it is NOT all good either ---

Old World Map

I think Neuro-Diverse People can look pretty PATHOLOGICAL when they are trying to manage that SENSORY / INFORMATION Overload.

• Because the RESPONSE --- whether it is Fight, Flight or Freeze --- doesn't seem PROPORTIONAL from a Neuro-Typical Perspective (even if neither one of you are quite Neuro-Typical)
• I think this also relates to "REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA" and Emotions that tend to be TYPICAL in every way EXCEPT INTENSITY.

• HUMOR -- COMIC RELIEF can help relieve the TENSION built up by relentless emotions that are TYPICAL in every way EXCEPT INTENSITY.
  • BUT that too is fraught with peril.

• I've been on both the giving and receiving end of UNAPPRECIATED HUMOR --- and it's not fun for anybody.

BUT I think as individuals and couples we are going to need to find some MUTUALLY ACCEPTABLE ways to break the tension of RELENTLESS INTENSE EMOTIONS or it will take a HEAVY TOLL.

POSSIBLE RESOURCE:

Neurodiverse Couples Therapy in Lone Tree